Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
