Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
