i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
