Already got asked if we're dating
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
