there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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