I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
