i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
