Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
