i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
