i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize