u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
