Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Let's get the cat blown out
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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