It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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