Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
