She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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