I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
