I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
