so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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