garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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