i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
