whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
