Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
