So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
