I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
