too bad you live with your parents still
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
