yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize