I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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