I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have aggressive nipples.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
