so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
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Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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