Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
