She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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