you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
