He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
