There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize