i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
