i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
