dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize