I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
