Hey man sorry I got all grabby
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
