Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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