anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
