My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
