I wannas sexs uuuuu
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
