i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
