i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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