i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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