Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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