I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
