i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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