I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
