making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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