Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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