im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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