He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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