It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
