Christians are straight up FREAKS
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Holy sore nipples Batman
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
