That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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