he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
