When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I had to cum in my sink.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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