i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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