R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
