Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
