Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
