Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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